The Golden Ticket for Airlines

What I’m about to suggest is not only completely un-PC, but both racist and completely contrary to virtually all “laws” associated with doing business in the good ol’ USA. However, I think that due to certain….well……issues….that this type of course of action is not only necessary, but could be a significant boost financially for a lucky airline who picks up on this first (I will want commission of course).

Basically I’ve noticed that as of late there have been several airline “incidents”, if you will, resulting in both passenger frustration, flight delay and overall chaos in the airline industry, which certainly doesn’t need more of that.

And after flying this past weekend to Knoxville, TN I found that yet again I was subjected to a staggering battery of highly focused and targeted searches which ultimately made the flight completely safe. Ok, so that was a lie. The battery can more aptly be described as “a staggering battery of useless, cumbersome and completely worthless searches, regulations and demands which didn’t even make me feel safer, much less actually create a safer environment on the plane.”

So anyway, back to my…..ahem….suggestion. After going through all this rigmarole for absolutely no reason, I noticed on my particular flight, which had roughly 100+ passengers and was flying a measly jumper from Knoxville to DFW, that there was not a single person of Middle Eastern descent on the flight. Being that my brain is a veritable magnet for great ideas, it suddenly occurred to me that if an airline made a choice to refuse service to anyone of Middle Eastern descent, that they could charge a premium for the 100% guarantee that no passenger would be in danger of being attacked “by a militant Islamist of Middle Eastern descent”. Now granted, the occasional cracker who thinks he’s a jihadi could potentially sneak onto a plane. However, since even these dumbasses have to grow out sickly looking beards, they should be easy to spot.

Just think of the business such an airline would garner by such a guarantee? Just think of how fast you could get to your flight without having to wait for the 93 year old grandmother with severe arthritis in front of you to be strip searched for her bottle of hand lotion. Just think how safe you would feel knowing that the airline took the common sense approach to the problem, rather than the diabolical and insanely idiotic bureaucratic approach the government is eschewing, and simply eliminated the problem: that every single terrorism related plane incident IN HISTORY has involved men of Middle Eastern descent.

Somehow though I think though that the ACLU and it’s ilk wouldn’t take to kindly to a company trying to protect its customers. That might “hurt someone’s feelings” ya know.

Part of the Beltway Traffice Jam

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4 Comments

Filed under Religion of Hate, Terrorism

4 responses to “The Golden Ticket for Airlines

  1. Why not expand the pool a bit and eliminate males in general for the pool of passengers? The females would feel even safer yet, and a further advantage : modesty wouldn’t be violated when public strip searches without probable cause and warrant are performed.

    Of course I’d feel safer just knowing that no one from OSU was on the plane. The way they enjoy laying down and getting pasted by Nebraska makes me wonder if they don’t have suicidal tendencies. Besides, they deserve to be kicked until they learn to stand up and start thrashing the Corn like they deserve.

    Beating OU may cut in Oklahoma, but doing so while leaving the Corn standing is simply not acceptable.

  2. FRSalzer: Sorry to burst your bubble, but you should probably go on over to Dictionary.com and look up the word “satire”. Then come back and read my post. Just a tip.

  3. As per the football remark….we’ll find out Oct 28 who lays down won’t we?

  4. Some people just can’t take a joke.

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